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I think you kicked my trash in relation to the overall awesomeness of the review. Wow. I wish I had thought of the John Darnielle/Whole Foods thing. It might be the single greatest judgement tool a music reviewer could have. You're like a poor man's King Solomon.

Review: Oxford Collapse, Bits--REVISED!

All I could really think to say about this album is: I like it.

I know, I know, there has to be more than that. There has to be quantified evidence: stats and numbers and pie charts and bar graphs and 3-D graphics that demonstrate why I like this record. Problem is I’ve never been about numbers. Or graphs. Or proof. I never debated in high school because I can’t do that. I literally cannot do it. I don’t think like that. I don’t think quickly or aggressively or analytically. For me, thinking analytically is like being forced to put on stainless steel underwear. I like something because I like something and if you disagree that’s totally fine but I have no desire to discuss it with you. Let’s shake hands and be on our separate ways and never talk of it again, Pumpkin.

So when Doug suggested we do this weekly album review on one hand I was pumped to have a reason to listen to new music. On the other hand, I was utterly deflated because I’d have to demonstrate why I like music. But, as I listened to this album all week I found that it’s not a bad thing to know why I like music. It was enlightening to me to be able to pinpoint what makes me like music. So, here goes.

First of all: tone. The music on Bits feels light and whimsical and unserious and unpolished; lo-fi. It doesn’t sound like they spent months in the studio which pretty much equates death for an album to me. There’s probably a graph I can draw that shows the longer a band is in the studio the more the album sucks. Bands get bogged down by time in the studio. Creativity withers. Great albums are similar to what I remember about light particles from Physical Science 101—the more you try to pin them down the more they elude you. And conversely, the less you try to pin them down the more you know about them (or in the case of songs, the better they are). I have no idea if that analogy would stand up scientifically but I think it would so there you go.

Next: voice(s). I really like the voices. I’m pretty sure the singer’s voice is the first thing I judge when listening to any new band. I don’t care if the voice is a crappy voice. I'm not looking for any American Idols in my music. I’ll take a voice with limited clarity and smoothness and talent over a perfect but pretentious voice any day of the year. I cannot stand a voice that says, “I’m freakin awesome” regardless of the lyric it is singing. From the initial “I can’t remember things…I can’t remember things. I just don’t know what to do…oo…oo,” and in the elevated, harmonizing yelps on “The Birthday Wars” and the distant, marching choruses of “Children’s Crusade” I knew I liked these guys’ voices. And I like there’s more than one singer. Matching scratchy, squeaky, yelling, stretching voices make me cheer for a band. I can connect with that. I can’t connect with perfect voices. Oh, and I like the funny-voiced female background singer on “John Blood.”

Music is next. There’s nothing moving about the music on this album. Not that it’s not catchy. I’ve been whistling the cello hook from “A Wedding” all week. I think the transition between “A Wedding” and “Featherbeds” is one of my favorite moments on the album. It moves from the organic simplicity of human voice and strings to a brassy-cymbols-almost-fuzzy-bass-and-canned-drums-sounding splash. And I love the yelling chorus on “Young Love Delivers.” I think it totally redeems the lame beginning of that song (more on that to follow). “Children’s Crusade” is a pretty little spot for me, although I don’t know how it will stand up against the test of time. For now it's certainly pretty but it could be fleeting. However, I love the little interludes in that song that make it sound like they’re going to break into “La Bamba” by Los Lobos. I get all excited to sing, “La la la la La Bamba!” and then it goes back to the pretty little march. But that’s fine.

Lyrics. In general I'm torn when it comes to lyrics. One part of me says I really couldn’t care less about the meaning of lyrics. I don’t care what bands are saying these days. I don’t care what issues are swelling in their precious little hearts. Who cares. I certainly don’t. The other part of me, though, being an English major, certainly likes to hear--and look for--creatively worded lyrics. So that division is a challenge to reconcile when I listen to music. The major concern I have about lyrics is this: Don’t write sentimental lyrics. That’s it. I won't tolerate it. As long as they're not sentimental I don't care. And I don't care what they mean. So, lyrically on Bits, I haven’t really found any sentimental lyrics. I tried to look the lyrics up on the internet but couldn’t find any. I do like the line, “In your presence, we’ll acquiesce,” from “For the Winter Coats.” The only lyric that really bothers me for some reason is the first line of “Young Love Delivers”: “My love came back from China, brought me a pocket camera.” I don’t know why but it just pisses me off. Like I said above, though, the chorus totally redeems that song: I want to pull over to the side of the road, raise my arms and yell, “You’re so sweet, thanks for asking! We’re doing fine for our steady slow decline!” (if that’s even what they say). Who knows. I don’t. And, frankly, I don’t care.

Finally, for me, are The Intangibles—a series of five short answer, unquantifiable responses to the album. The Intangibles are: 1) How does the album make me feel? 2) Is this music unique? 3) Would I go see the band? 4) How would I recommend the album to someone? And, finally, 5) What song off this CD would I want playing in my car if I was giving John Darnielle a ride to Whole Foods Market?

• How does the album make me feel? Bits happens to make me feel young. Like I’m kicking it in the basement of my best friend’s house after school and we’re talking about sports and scoring chicks. It makes me feel like, “Hey this isn’t the greatest thing in the world but it’s cool and I’m young and there’ll be plenty of time for that stuff later.” I would’ve loved this album when I was 17 and that's fine with me. It’s carefree and loud in parts and there’s yelling and some pretty great guitar and drum parts and even some feedback which totally reminded me of the early 90’s.
• Is this album unique? Honestly, there’s a lot of influence from many other bands in this music. For that it doesn’t really stand out as unique. Entertaining? Yeah. Thrilling and moving and the only place on the face of the earth to find just this exact music? No.
• Would I go see the band? If they played my hometown, yeah, I think so. If I had to travel? No.
• How would I recommend the album? “Hey have you heard Bits from Oxford Collapse? It’s alright. If you get a chance to hear it, you may want to.”
• What song off this CD would I want playing in my car if I was giving John Darnielle a ride to Whole Foods Market? Probably "Featherbeds" or "John Blood."
  

Grades:

Tone—4

Voices—3

Music—3

Lyrics—3

Intangibles—3

Total: 16

For the purpose of setting the standard: Zero is the lowest possible score on both the individual components and the total. Two is an average score on the individual components for a total score of 10 for a straightforward, average album. Five is the highest score possible for the individual components adding up to a score of 25 for the perfect album. Albums that are twenty-fives are (for example): The National Alligator, The Unicorns Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?, AMFM Mutilate Us and Possum Dixon Possum Dixon.

Weekly Review

Band: Oxford Collapse

Album: Bits

Note to other readers: Inspired by my wife's book club, I contacted Josh this week and said that we should independently review an album this week. We decided to choose a band we had never heard of that had been positively reviewed in Paste magazine. In the most recent issue of Paste, they had reviewed this band Oxford Collapse, giving it an 86 out of 100 which was the second highest of the reviews. The only thing I had remembered about the review was that they said something about it being college rockish.

Review: So, I didn't check out anything about this band, just listened to the music, much like how one was forced to do so in the early internet days when you could not instantly find out all the silly peripheral things about the band that so often affect my listen but really shouldn't.

My overall impression of the album is that it's very good. Not great, not horrible, but very good. The sound is schizoid. The opener "Electric Arc" has some great indie guitar which more than makes up for the repetitive lyrics. Vocals are clear and up front in the mix (as if I even know what that means). However, the sounds of Birthday Wars is completely different. Fuzzy guitars, vocals buried in the mix and completely unintelligible. It sounds like 90s indie-rock stuff like early Mineral or early Promise Ring (without the lisp) or something like that. Just a rougher sound. Both sound great. And then! Track 3 (Vernon-Jackson) welcomes a new vocalist and I still can't tell if I hate his voice. Less of a rock voice and more of a slimey croon or something. After first three tracks, I was thinking "I could love this album." However, track four has idiotic lyrics with emo-styling singing from both vocalists (I hate the "so absurd" line. Just hate it more than anything. Worst part of the album.) and track 5 is a hideous speak-sing thing that sounds like the Hold Steady (and you know I loathe the Hold Steady).

Track 6 (a Wedding) is a real shocker as it is only a cello and singing. I thought it too emoey/gooey dumb at first, but slowly grew to really like it, thought the risk was worthwhile. The next two songs I was convinced were the heart of the album: Featherbeds and For the Winter Coats are great songs (I'm not sure why I love the line "got jacked up playing leapfrog" but I do) with great lyrics and rockish. But then Men and Their Ideas is another Hold Steady/Brand New hybrid thing that really killed the momentum...until Children's Crusade knocks it out of the park. Best song on the album, awesome marching, military type drumming and lyrics that I can't quite make out but I think might be really cool (and I don't want to look them up because it might kill the effect). The next three tracks are all up in the air for me: They contain great elements, and terrible elements, whether it be off-mic singing like Brand New (which doesn't work well) or strange references to the South when OC sounds like nothing from the South to a guest female vocalist that sucks out the energy, to good melodies, catchy riffs, etc. Just hard to really get a hold of.

Overall, I would say I loved the variation of the album. Too often I stop listening to an album because the sound never varies between songs (see all bearded acoustic sensitive men and their albums). These guys really try hard to mix it up, and sometimes it's terrible, but usually they hit the mark. Really saves the album for me. If I were giving it a grade, I'd probably go for a B (where The Bends is an A+ Parachutes is a C and Yourself or Someone Like You is an F.)

The top ten American Indie songs of the 2000s

All right sir. I'll match your top ten+1. Let me make a clear distinction between your top ten and my top ten. First, when I say American, I mean red-white-and-blue, US of A, apple pie eating, corn-fed Americans. None of this Canadian business. Which means you! You, Arcade Fire are not even considered in this list, even though you would have made it if you had been American. (For all of you nauseating pansies out there who weakly cough "But Doug, Win Butler is from Texas!" I say, "He don't want to live in America no more. And they say they're from Montreal. So that settles it.") Also you Stars and you Unicorns are not up for consideration except I don't think that you would have made it. (Except Sea Ghost is pretty awesome...)



So, here we go. I don't think they are in any order except for the number one song. I purposely do this because my boss always requires me to arrange things in a logical order and I cannot stand the thought of doing that here, in this blog.



Number one song: (There's never really a reason to do the whole countdown business except to build anticipation. As far as I can tell, there is no anticipation whatsoever associated with this list, so I shall eschew the countdown format)

Stray Dog and the Chocolate Shake - Grandaddy. That's right. Infectious, bouncy, goofy, hilarious, and downright awesome. It embodies the best aspects of indie which are: that there are no set aspects as to what indie should be. Pretty much a song about futuristic Modesto from what I can tell. This is the moment where everything Grandaddy strived to be over the course of four albums coalesced into perfection. It's a song about the future, the mundane, and the weird. Every time I listen to it, it reminds me of growing up in Orem in the 1980s with all the dirt and the heat and the bugs and the brown foothills and the things in the beds of rusted out dirty trucks. I've used the synth line to describe a vacation driving down Highway One from Seattle to San Francisco. Oh, and the boys love it. Every night, Stray Dog is requested and they both shout out "It's magic!" and "A little trick" at the appropriate times. Anyway, this is it, the top song of the last decade.

Now the remaining nine...

Styrafoam Plates - Death Cab for Cutie. From the opening stanza of Ben Gibbard's father's ashes being blown back into his face, stinging his eyes, and his saying that this was par for the course, I was hooked. It's the ultimate indie confessional track. Bitter, jaded, and best of all, real. I've mentioned before that I would pay full price for a DCFC concert just to see Gibbard sing this live with all the bitterness and resentment as represented in the recording. Even better, the band really bangs and clatters well at the right moments, specifically when Gibbard is fuming and saying things like "You're a disgrace to the concept of family" which the preacher certainly is not discussing at the funeral. Best DCFC track and it kinda makes you wish they were a little more aggressive and a little less coy.

The Late Greats (live) - Wilco. Only the live version of this song is in the top ten. The recorded version is somewhat muffled and lifeless. Which is what makes the live version of this song so stunning. I always think I can sing along with the lyrics, and then I realize I don't know the lyrics, and I'm not sure I even know what he's talking about except some sort of lament that the greatest songs and bands are not the ones that are well known. But it's a great driving song, and the brief instrumental part where the bass and the piano and the guitar all hit perfectly together is just one of those transcendental music moments, the appeal to the non-thinking part of my brain.

The Dark is Rising - Mercury Rev. I had never thought that the music I listened to (I cannot call it rock, nor can I call it popular) could be like this. A huge orchestral swell to begin, fading to a piano, and an off-key meek sad voice singing a sad sad song. And it wasn't the guitars that thrilled me...it was when the violin came in sweetly in one verse and then a french horn in another. The lyrics were so simple and so sad. Not bitter and raging just sad and lost. So, this song represents the best of the chamber/orchestral/baroque aspect of the indie scene.

Even Numbers - The Standard. There is a scene from a Tiny Toons where Buster Bunny is pretending to be a ghost and he is playing a Bach piece on the harp that is high, ethereal, and haunting. It always gave me chills. It felt eternal, in a weird way. My mother-in-law has the piece of music for piano in Nevada, and I found it and tried playing it and I gave myself the chills but I was playing so badly that I stopped. Anyway, the high piano line in Even Numbers does this to me every time. Just gives me that same hair-raising feeling. And it had movements! Movements professor! It's like a classical piano piece with guitars and vocals that sound like the guy is a sheep. Which brings me to the next song...

Leif Erikson - Interpol. As with Even Numbers, this song has that ethereal, haunted feel, which is amplified by the baritone of the lead singer. It's so much in the same vein as Even Numbers, that I don't think I need to say much more beyond it's one of those songs that I would sing in a haunted house full of non-menacing but slightly creepy ghosts.

Same Boy You've Always Known - White Stripes. I'm not sure why but this song absolutely thrills me. It's like one of those songs that seems to have always existed that Jack White pulled from the ether and recorded it. Just a song that seemed so familiar when I heard it that I felt like I had been born with that tune inside me.

The War Criminal Rises and Speaks - Okkervil River. This represents the brilliant songwriter section of the indie universe. There are people like Conor Oberst who write silly banter about "When the President Talked to God" and think they are deep. And then there's the harrowing story spun by Will Sheff about cruising through a town full of strip malls and big box shops and then finding out about the capture of an old war criminal who's being tried for his bloody crimes. And while he recognizes he's done something horrible, he can't believe it happened to him, that he fell out of his boring life and did something like that. And how the person driving in soul-sucking middle America refuses to imagine that something like that could happen to him. Which makes you think, what would I do in that situation? Would I also fall prey to the demons insides, the worst instincts? How do you prevent it? I find it thought provoking. Which is why I keep listening. Oh, and it represents that strain of music that realizes that there's more to life than picking apart each emotion from a break-up years earlier to mine more music.

Okay I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't - Brand New. It's ironic and brash. It's rocking. It's kinda emo. But it's really smart and cool.

And finally....The Mariner's Revenge Song - The Decemberists. Once again, this song represents the peak of a certain kind of indie song, the multi-instrumental weird narrative. As a fan of the old Pirates computer game, as a fan of all things old and nautical, this song is incredibly awesome. It's one of those songs that I wish I had written. And it's one of those songs I always hoped someone would make, but I never thought would ever come to light.

That's it.

Top 10+1 Songs of the 2000's. And No I'm Not Going To Listen to Another New Song Until the End of the Decade.

In chronological order by release year:

1. "Hotel Yorba" (2001) The White Stripes
2. "Radio Cure" (2002) Wilco
3. "The Velocity of Saul at the Time of His Conversion" (2003) Okkervil River
4. "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight" (2003) The Postal Service
5. "Glenn Tipton" (2003) Sun Kil Moon
6. "Neighborhood #4 (7 Kettles)" (2004) The Arcade Fire
7. "Tuff Luff" (2004) The Unicorns
8. "Land Locked Blues" (2005) Bright Eyes
9. "Trance Manual" (2005) John Vanderslice
10. "The Geese of Beverly Road" (2005) The National
11. "The Beast and Dragon, Adored" (2005) Spoon

Most Confident/Arrogant Lead Singers

Who are the most confident and/or arrogant lead singers you listen to?

+ Britt Daniel--Spoon. Hands down the baddest, most in your face arrogant mo-fo in American rock today. That guy could sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and make my mother blush.

+Brandon Flowers--The Killers. Kind of like the kid in high school who thought they were the king of the world and knew everything before they even had a chance to learn that there's a massive world outside the halls of high school that's waiting to completely obliterate his soul.

+Nick Thorburn--The Unicorns, Islands. The kind of arrogance that makes a person believe that the world is holding their breath to hear every word or idea that comes out of their mouth.

+John Darnielle--The Mountain Goats. The kind of arrogance that says, "I've read every book in the world and can reference any sentence or concept from any of those books at any given time so BOW TO ME!"

+Matt Berninger--The National. The quiet, brooding arrogance. "I don't know you, I don't need or want to know you. This is my gig. So #$@ off. No more questions."

+Jack White--The White Stripes. "I used to re-upholster furniture now I rock. I'm from Detroit. I'm an enigma and I play the marimba and I don't let my drummer who's my exwife practice because our sound is really my sound. And you have no idea what I'm going to do next!" Magician arrogance.

+Sufjan Stevens--Sufjan Stevens. Kind of like John Darnielle but with instruments instead of literature. He's kind of like the Chinese water torture of music. You know the one where you're tied down and a drop of water falls on your forehead until you go mad? He'll throw so many different stringed instruments at you you'll love it at first and then after three songs (three songs max!) you'll wish an Asthmatic Kitty would come gnaw your heart out.

+Ted Leo--Ted Leo and the Pharmacists. "Let's kick this @#$% out! #$%@ the establishment! #@$%@ meat eaters! Is that blood seeping out of my tear ducts?! @#$% tear ducts!"

+Jeff Tweedy--Wilco. "Yeah? You don't like our album? Well I'll sue you for my tapes, take my tapes elsewhere and then release the biggest record of the new century. Then I'll put out a string of amazingly solid, tight groundbreaking work that'll be nominated for and win Grammy's. And I'll do it all with massive migraine headaches. Step aside."

My Top Five R.E.M. Songs (Almost a month later) And Two Great, Great Albums I Recently Had Written Off and Vending with the Von Trapps.

My Top 5 (6, actually--there's a three way tie for 4th) R.E.M. songs based on iTunes play count*:

• Exhuming McCarthy
• Country Feedback
• I've Been High
• Fall On Me
• What's the Frequency Kenneth?
• How the West Was Won and Where it Got Us

I'm always surprised when I look at play counts. Two songs I would've thought would have been on the list: Nightswimming and Swan Swan H.

*I loaded my songs onto this computer 5/16/07 so it's been counting since then.

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There are two albums that were released last year that are quickly becoming two of my favorites: Sky Blue Sky and Boxer. I know I totally wrote both of them off at the end of 2007 but I never write anything completely off. It's a good thing too. I think SBS (Sky Blue Sky) is Wilco's strongest album to date. I love YHF but SBS is so tight and stong and concrete it's just magical. They make it sound so so so so so easy. In fact, it pisses me off how easy they make it sound. It just taunts me whenever I listen to it. "Hey, freaker, look what I can do. Ha. You're sitting there at a desk, and I'm making magic! Look how easy it is to be me! Look how easy! And people love me! I was nominated for best Rock album! I didn't win but no one can take that nomination away from me! NO ONE!"

Boxer is different. Boxer kills me with subtleties. It's a chord change or a word or a phrase or the way he sings something or the timing of the percussion or the string arrangements of a particular song. There are moments I listen for. Fractions of songs. And the sentiments at the foundations of the songs devastate me--distance, loss, space, how one relates to the world outside oneself. But the songs are so striking. So poignant. They resonate.

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I ordered an AMFM cd from Austria. It cost me $11. Total. Eleven dollars. Pretty cheap, right? The cd was $8 and shipping to the U.S. was $3. Well that was two and a half weeks ago. I'm thinking shipping was so cheap because they sent the cd on a freakin helium filled balloon. Or carrier pigeon. Or Austrian gypsy. Or basal wood airplane. Or newspaper boat. Or remote controlled car. Or worse yet--I got ripped off by some corrupt Von Trapp who had no intention of sending me my cheap-yet-difficult-to-find cd. I'm cursing you Austria. I'm cursing!